SHE IS NOT INTO YOU – 10 PROVEN WAYS TO KNOW PART 2
5. She Hasn’t Introduced You to Anyone in Her World
If you and your crush have been “dating” (at least, in your eyes) for weeks or months, but she’s weirdly evasive about letting you meet anyone in her world, she’s probably not quite as committed to the relationship as you are. Introducing a partner to your friends and family is one of the most solid signs of commitment, and if she’s being evasive in this area, it probably means she doesn’t see you as part of her future.
A reluctance to introduce you to friends and family is probably not a fatal sign very early in a relationship, but if you’ve been going steady for a while and it’s not even on the cards – or if she’s reluctant to meet your friends and family — it’s not a good sign. If your worlds aren’t meshing at all, and she’s the one preventing it, then it’s probably time to look for a more committed partner elsewhere.
6. She Avoids You for Days and Responds to You Intermittently
If the communication between you is always patchy and intermittent, it could be because she’s trying to fade you out, but wants to avoid looking heartless by ghosting you completely. If she gives a lukewarm response to every third message of yours, but you otherwise don’t hear from her at all, this could be what’s happening.
This is a difficult situation to deal with, because it’s not as clear-cut as never hearing from her at all, and there’s some plausible deniability she can appeal to here (“What do you mean!? I do text you back!”). Use your gut instincts and, again, leave things in her hands: stop texting her at all, and if she’s interested, she can reestablish the flow of conversation. If she doesn’t, you know the drill.
7. She Never Initiates Meetings between You Two
If your crush is never the one to initiate plans between the two of you, this is a sign that she might not be as invested in the relationship as you are. Think about it: if she was really into you, you’d be one of her go-to people whenever she wanted to visit a gallery or check out a new movie, like she is for you.
You deserve better than a partner who is tepid and unenthusiastic about spending time with you, so cut things off if she’s never initiating plans or avoiding them altogether. It will save her having an awkward conversation with you later about how she likes you, but just not like that.
8. She Gets Weird About or Won’t Commit to Future Plans
Much like meeting friends and family, locking in future plans is a key sign of commitment. If she blanches and changes the subject when you suggest making New Year’s Eve plans six months in advance, it could be a sign that she hasn’t imagined staying with you that long.
Because there are genuine reasons your partner might be reluctant to make long-term plans, such as money worries or concerns about not being able to take time off work, you’re going to have to use your instinct with this one. By asking the right questions and taking stock of how often it happens, you should be able to get a pretty good read on whether an aversion to future plans signals a deeper disinterest. If you see a pattern forming, the relationship is probably dead in the water.
9. She Tells You, Directly and in Words, That She’s Not Interested
This one is about as straightforward as it gets: if she’s told you, in words, that she’s not interested in you, then you don’t need to keep analyzing her behavior or look for signs that maybe she didn’t mean what she said.
Clear rejection like this is a horrible feeling, but there is a silver lining. You don’t need to waste your time trying to mind-read now: she’s let you know straightforwardly that she’s not interested, so you can move on to someone whose feelings are reciprocal this time.
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10. She Lets You Know Indirectly That She’s Not Into you
Sometimes it’s hard for women to be direct with men. Because women are socialized to always be sweet and compliant, saying a straightforward “no” can be difficult, and may even expose them to retaliatory violence.
So, if she’s saying anything along the lines of “I’m not really interested in seeing anyone right now” or “I’m pretty busy with work, which doesn’t leave much time for dating,” she’s telling you, as kindly and indirectly as possible, that she’s not interested in pursuing things with you.
Don’t push her on this or call her out for “lying” if she gets a boyfriend in three weeks or posts vacation pictures on Facebook: She was trying to let you down gently in a way that protected her own safety. Most people tell the odd white lie or two to spare other people’s feelings, so take the hint and move on like a mature adult: You’ll both be better off if you don’t make a fuss or try to probe her on her true feelings.
In the end, it’s ultimately healthier to call off a relationship that’s only limping along with one party’s active involvement, so if you think that’s what’s happening in your situation, do the brave thing and move on. When you eventually meet someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are them – and you will! – you’ll be glad you didn’t keep wasting your time.
